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Adoption Parenting

Realistic Expectations,
the first year home

I Don't Have Your Eyes

We See the Moon

At Home in This World

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Click a link below to find resources for your specific circumstance

I am a new adoptive parent (or thinking about becoming one.)

Realistic Expectations the First Year Home
This 50 page pdf has words of advice for nearly new and new adoptive parents. (Free download)

Why Grandma Can't Pick Up the Baby by S.M. Macrae and Karleen Gribble
Some beginning suggestions for baby attachment.

The Jigsaw Puzzle Child By Eileen Mayers Pasztor, DSW
This Article helps you understand emotional age vs chronological age in a child who has experienced trauma, depravation, or abuse. Reprinted from the Foster Parenting Toolbox

Lifelong Issues in Adoption
by Deborah N. Silverstein and Sharon Kaplan

The first year home (includes common areas of struggle including sleep, food, and attachment.)

Top Ten Tips for Successful First Year Parenting
Attachment Based Activities to Create Connections from the Start by Deborah Gray, MSW, MPA, author Attaching in Adoption

Safe Co-Sleeping Habits by Dr. William Sears

Engage in Nighttime Parenting--The Eight Principles of Attachment Parenting

Soothing Music--Music to get baby and mom to sleep

Baby Go to Sleep
Soothing Heartbeat imbedded music to calm your child. Sample music is available to listen to.

Attachment Parenting International....nurturing children for a compassionate world.
This website (started by Adoptive Moms Heidi Louella and Cynthia Hockman-Chupp) has a wealth of parent friendly resources in understanding attachment and how it impacts our children. It's worth a look.

Attachment Information and Adoption Issues
Attach-China is a website for all kinds of adoptions devoted to educating adoptive parents about the attachment needs of their children, and the issues faced by post-institutional adoptees. It includes current information on adoption parenting, bonding techniques, PTSD and Reactive Attachment Disorder. There is also an e-list for attachment issues.

Attachment and Trauma Network
Lots of great information here with articles and podcasts on trauma and the impact it has on attachment.

Center 4 Family Development
The Center for Family Development was founded by Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman to provide answers to questions, solutions to problems, and the expert support necessary for families to thrive in these turbulent times. Lots of articles and resources.


Post Adoption Depression

Baby Shock-Depression and International Adoption
by Jean MacLeod

Post Adoption Depression–
How do We Cope With Ourselves and Parent as Well by S.M. Macrae

Welcome to Holland By Emily Perl Kingsley

Post Adoption Depression Survey
Harriet McCarthy

Post Adoption Depression, A Parenting Transition
Judy Grob- Whiting MSW

The Post-Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption
By Karen J. Foli, John R. Thompson (this is a book on Amazon)

Bonding and Attachment: How Does Adoption Affect a Newborn?
Gail Steinberg

Post Adoption Depression, A Parenting Transition
Judy Grob- Whiting MSW

Adoption & Depression
Karen Ledbetter

The Hidden Baby Blues
Shelley Page

The Post-Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption
By Karen J. Foli, John R. Thompson


Discipline and Trauma

Discipline with an Adoption Twist by Deborah Moore

Discipline: Some Questions about Emotions, Acting Out and Discipline by Sheena Macrae. A look at how emotions and tantrums can actually be a helpful thing...

Dealing with Emotional Triggers by Carrie Kitze
How understanding water and dirt piles can help you make better choices

The Role of the Modern Dad
the transformative experience of having children...
By Doug Miller

Lynne Namka's Angries Out
Everyone gets the angries. But sometimes they make us say and do things that we don't really mean. We can learn how to release those mads in safe ways, so that no one gets hurt and we feel better. This site has resources for kids and for the adults that love them.

Love and Logic
Love and Logic provides simple and practical techniques to help parents and teachers have less stress and more fun while raising responsible kids.

123 Magic
1-2-3 Magic - Easy-To-Learn Parenting Solutions That Work From Dr. Thomas Phelan

The Case Against Time-out
by Peter Haiman, Ph.D.

Therapeutic Parenting Podcasts
We stumbled on these terrific podcasts from Christine Moers. Many people talk about therapeutic parenting, but in these podcasts, she gives you some tools to help you figure out how to do this. She is a parent by birth and adoption and is parenting kids with RAD. She has a blog too...find it here. And a terrific sense of humor!

Therapeutic Parenting--Feelings

What to do When Our Kids are Stuck

The Power Of Your Voice

Therapuetic Parenting--Lying


Loss and Grief

Anger and Control Issues
Using Empathy to Reduce Anger Helps Parent and Child

By Christopher J. Alexander, PhD

Dancing with Ghosts: Birthmother loss and the Adopted Child
By Jean MacLeod

When a Child Dies: Living with Loss, Healing with Hope
by Terra Trevor

Finding the Missing Piece, Helping Adopted Children Cope with Grief and Loss
This is the Adoption Learning Partner's course on Grief and Loss. Their courses are well thought out and very helpful for adoptive parents.

The Five Stages of Grief by Elizabeth Kubler Ross


Older Child Adoption

Suggestions for Parenting the Older Adopted Child with Attachment Issues
This article by Brenda McCreight has some good advice.

10 Tips After Your Older Child is Home
A good head's up article on when you first come home with an older child

Rainbow Kids
This e-zine has some great articles and photo listings for older child adoptions

Adopting a Teenager
Some great ideas when that new family member is a bit older.

Attachment Parenting of Older Children
This article helps you apply the principals of attchment parenting into school aged children.

Simple Language for Adoptive Families
Simple phrases and basic language to learn for adopting an older child
available in Amharic, Chinese, Haitian Creole, Russian, and Spanish.


School Issues and IEP's/504's

Is My Child Ready for Kindergarten?
A ton of useful links and downloadable resources.

School Readiness and School Placement of a Newly Adopted Post-institutionalized Child by Boris Gindis, PhD -

Parent /School Guide Individual Education Plans – IEPs

by Julie Beem
This guide takes you through the steps of IEPs with lots of suggestions on what to do and what not to do!
Website with comprehensive explanations of special education laws, including information on the reauthorization of IDEA 2004 and the impact of the various changes under this legislation.

12 Rules for Writing a Good Letter
When you write letters to the school, you want to express concerns and educate your reader about your child’s problems.
You want your letters to create a good first's how!

Oil and Water by Lawrence B Smith L.C.S.W. - C., L.I.C.S.W. Classroom Strategies for Attachment Disordered Children

The ABCs of Back to School with FASD by Kari Fletcher

Outside Difference, Inside Sameness
This activity is great to talk about differences in a classroom or with a scout troop. Designed to be used with the book I Don't Have Your Eyes for children from preschool to 2nd grade.

"As a teacher, you are always looking for ways to promote acceptance of differences among people. This is a very appealing book for primary levels and is a good source of an initial introduction to diversity."

Karen Wilkening, First Grade Teacher,
NJ Teacher of the Year, adoptive parent.

Making a Family Glyph
An art activity for families touched by adoption or fostering.

Special Resources for Teachers

Adoptive Families Seek to Transform Classroom Strategies -
by Elizabeth Hunt
An awareness by teachers on what assignments and
activities can mean to adopted children.

A Teacher's Guide to Adoption By Robin Hilborn
There are 10 modules:
Module1 -- Many ways to make a family
Module 2 -- Many ways to create a child
Module 3 -- Biased class assignments -- and how to fix them
Module 4 -- Teaching the language of adoption
Module 5 -- How to introduce adoption in elementary school
Module 6 -- Answers for the pregnant student
Module 7 -- A suggested classroom presentation
Module 8 -- Research points the way
Module 9 -- Adoption resources for teachers and students
Module 10 -- Glossary: the ABCs of adoption

Adopted Children in the Early Childhood Classroom
Short articles include:
•Select Curriculum Activities and Materials That Represent Diverse Families
•Reconsider "Adopt-A" Projects
•Listen Carefully to Children's Questions
•Avoid Bias Toward Adopted Children
•Consider Using Bibliotherapy

Operation Respect: Don't Laugh at Me
Dedicated to creating safe, caring and respectful environments for children includes some great resources and free tools for educators.

Overview of Reactive Attachment Disorder for Teachers
Includes information on control battles, when/how to involve parents, consequencing
by Arthur Becker-Weidman

The ABC's of Back to School with FASD
a check list created by a parent of a FASD child to give to her son's teacher to help understand his particular issues and how best to work with him.

The Alert Program
This program is for teaching self-regulation awareness.
(How Does Your Engine Run®)

Special Learning Resources

Scientific Learning
The Fast ForWord family of reading intervention products develops brain processing efficiency through intensive, adaptive software exercises.

CAPD-Central Auditory Processing Disorder
Living and Working with a Central Aduitory Processing Disorder
by Judith W. Paton, M. A., Audiologist

Resources and learning tools for Special Needs kids. Some wonderful resources and tools for motor skills, charts, lists and other things to get kids off with all the resources they need.

Boris Gindis
Center for Cognitive-Developmental Assessment & Remediation

Identifying Learning Problems in Adopted Children
By Annie Stuart


When something is not quite right

Is My Kid Normal? Seeking Therapy for an adopted child
by Jean MacLeod

Short Circuits: How Adoption Alone Does Not Heal a Hurt Child by Heidi Holman
An adoptive mom's exploration of the neurological impact of trauma, neglect, and sensory deprivation

The ABCs of Back to School with FASD by Kari Fletcher

Sensory Processing Network
The Sensory Processing Disorder Network (SPD Network) is a project of the KID Foundation, a nonprofit organization based in Littleton, Colorado. Lots of great links and resources for parents, teachers, and others who come in contact with children with SPD.

Sensory Integration Resources
Allison Martin, an adoptive parent, compiled this excellent list of sensory integration resources.

The Out of Sync Child
Author Carol Stock Cranowitz's website helping parents recognize and cope with sensory processing disorder.


Help for overwhelmed parents

Are You at the End of Your Rope?
Help for New and Old Parents When Emotions Run High
(This pdf file is formatted for social workers and agencies to print and use in new or post adoptive parent packets.)


Teens, identity and self esteem

Parent Guide for Pieces of Me
It's never too early to start thinking about the teen years...keep those lines of communication open!

Words of Encouragement for Children and Teens
by Homer Kiracofe, therapist and pastor


When an adoption ends

Disruption and Dissolution: Unspoken Losses
Edited by Sheena Macrae, with a foreword by Doris Landry

When a Child Dies: Living with Loss, Healing with Hope
by Terra Trevor









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